So, we're sitting/laying on the field at the Philadelphia Eagles stadium, the Linc, and Maymay is rolling around on the field and laughing.

Maymay: Momma? (stops rolling around on the field)

Me: Yeah?

Maymay:  Is this where they actually play the football games?

Me:  um.....What do you think?

Maymay:  Well, you said this is where people watch the Eagles play.  I thought that was on the TV's.  DO they actually play on this field?

Me:  (I'm resisting the urge to drop my head into my hands at this point.)  Yes Maymay.  People come here to watch them play on this very field.  

Maymay:  (Smoke isn't quite coming outta her ears, but she is obviously thinking hard.)  Huh.  That's cool.  (And she begins rolling around on the field again.)

About ten minutes later, I noticed a mom pretty close to me yelling at her son to stop running in circles on the field "before someone got mad".  I looked up at her and pointed at Maymay happily rolling around on the field.  She looked at my kid, looked at her kid, looked around at all the kids in various spinning, rolling, jumping, running stages of happiness....and sat down on the field. She watched her son for a minute, watched my kid, and then thanked me.

Nice to know my kiddo being herself could make it okay for another kiddo to be himself.

I never thought I'd ever say the following words: I LOVE a Philadelphia Eagles football player and will happily cheer him on in any game.....except against Dallas. (Come on, I can't go against MY team.)

Nate Allen, #29, you are a hero among men.

Not only was he at the Huddle up for Autism again this year, but he REMEMBERED Maymay and Berry!! He called her over, remembered her name, Berry's name, and reminded Maymay about their conversation last year!! He said he recognized her from her extremely cool Eagles football jersey, and then they spent about 15 minutes chatting like old friends. He saw he a bit later and hugged Berry, asked Maymay if she needed anything, and introduced her to a few of his fellow players.

I won't even mention that I cried the entire time.  Nope, I won't mention that at all.

"It's been 84 years.....and I can still smell the fresh paint. The china had never been used. The sheets had never been slept in. Titanic was called the ship of dreams, and it was. It really was." 

Oh goodness. I've seen this movie so many freaking times I can quote it verbatim.  I can't stand this movie, but it is Maymay's favorite movie.  We watch it at least once per week.  Yup.  Every week.  Every single week.  This has been going on for many, many years.  Sometimes, when she's had a bad day, she'll come home and immediately put Titanic on.  Today was a decent day so she watched an episode of Doctor Who before putting this on.  Anyway, Maymay likes to quote the movie and make comments.  She talks to the characters, asks me the same questions virtually every time.  Every once in a while she completely catches me off guard.

Maymay:  Momma....what kind of name is Sven?

Me:  um....I don't know.  Irish?  Italian?  Maybe Swedish. 

Maymay:  (deep sigh)  Geez....do you know ANYTHING?  (To prove her frustration with me she slammed the remote on the table.)

Just think, the movie isn't even half over.

Sigh............

I am not perfect.  Far from it actually.  Sometimes I make a mistake so huge that I'm awed by my own stupidity.  This is one of those times.

Maymay has had her teddy bear, Berry, for many years.  I used to fight with her about leaving it in the car or hiding Berry when we would go anywhere.  During one pivotal therapy session, Maymay admitted how much her Berry helps her stay calm in public.  Her therapist and neurologist agreed that it is much better to have her carry her Berry than to continue being so overly stressed that she hurts herself or has a seizure.  Besides, who does it bother anyway?  

Apparently, everyone.

I'm used to odd looks and hearing comments about Berry.  I hate how sad it makes my kiddo, but I can't protect her from everything.  After hearing a few comments yesterday, I told Maymay it might be time to leave Berry at home or in the car.  That didn't go over well.  Nope, not at all.  (Insert extreme meltdown here.)  I finally got her to talk with me about it, and the level of my stupidity really became crystal clear.

Me:  Maymay, why are you so angry and upset?

Maymay:  You told me to leave Berry at home.  That makes me sad.

Me:  I just thought it might be time.

Maymay:  I'm not.  Berry makes me feel safe when people upset me.

Me:  sigh...I'm sorry.  I just thought it might be time.

Maymay:  Don't you like me?

Me:  What?  Of course I like you.  I love you hon.  Why would you ask that?

Maymay:  Because I feel like you want me to be like everyone else instead of who I am.  I thought you said you like ME.  Do you want me to be more like other people instead of me?

Me:  No.  I'm so sorry.  I do want you to be yourself.  I don't want you to be anything except who YOU are.  I was wrong to make you feel like you need to be anyone except yourself.

Maymay:  Are you sad because people make fun of me?

Me:  Yes.  It does bother me.

Maymay:  I'm sorry.  I can try harder to be different.

I stopped her and we had a really long talk about everything.  I made sure she understands how much she is loved and how much I admire her.  I don't want her to be anyone except herself.  I asked forgiveness for being a doodie-head and promised to be nicer to Berry.  I realized how much I let other people's ignorance affect me and I didn't handle it well at all.   After really thinking about it, if something as simple as a teddy bear can help my kiddo cope with everything that stresses her out, why shouldn't she be allowed to have it?  

Besides, who does it bother anyway?  

No one that matters.

Maymay: Momma, wanna hear a joke?

Me: Of course.

Maymay: What color hair does a bald man say he has  on his drivers license?

Me: um....I have no idea.  What color?

Maymay: None.  He's bald.