Maybe it's my fault. I never did research into online dating. I talked to friends, and figured it was worth a try since I'm just not meeting anyone in my age group. Maybe I should've invested in a professional to assist me in writing a dating profile that attracts the "right" kind of guys. (Did you know that is a thing? People get paid to write dating profiles.) But what exactly does that mean? The right kind of guys? I didn't think I was that picky. I sat down with a pad of paper and listed the qualities that I was looking for in a potential partner. Then I promptly tore it up and cursed at myself for needing to make a shopping list of what I want. An hour later I sat down to make the list.
What I'm looking for. Hmmm. He must be employed. That's a given. Do I care what he does for a living? No, as long as it's not illegal and pays the bills. I'd rather meet a guy that isn't living paycheck to paycheck, and isn't deeply in debt. He cannot be a smoker (I have no issues with the occasional cigar), not a heavy drinker, and cannot have a gambling problem. Okay, I'm on a roll now! Do I care about height? Not really. I never thought about it. Do I care about weight? A little. I like a "dad bod" kind of physique, but a little more on either side of the spectrum isn't a deal breaker. Dude, I'm rocking this list. Okay, now hair. I just don't care. I prefer bald, but it's not my hair so who am I to judge? Facial hair? Sure. I like a beard, and a cool mustache, but again, not a deal breaker. He should dress well, but not GQ (I cannot afford to keep up with a GQ kind of guy). He should have interests, but do I really care what they are? A little. Would like to meet a guy that likes sports, some outdoor things (kayaking, hiking) and dancing once in a while. He can't be wanted by any police, CIA, or the FBI. Um... that's about it.
Now my turn. I need to tell all about me. I tried two different approaches. Why? Because the first attempt was a colossal failure, so I needed to rethink the entire thing and then tried again. First, I made a very long and detailed profile. I added the maximum amount of recent pictures of me. I spent time creating a profile that showed much about myself, likes and dislikes, and even tried to convey my personality. (As much as one can in a dating profile). I stressed I'm looking for a relationship kind of thing eventually, but want to date first. No hookups. I was raw, honest, funny, and open to meet in a public place immediately. This profile earned me more inappropriate responses than I thought humanly possible. You have no idea the amount of crazy I seem to attract. I did meet a few guys that seemed perfect on paper, but meeting them was an entirely different experience. Every single guy I met, or spoke to online, asked me for sex immediately. IMMEDIATELY. After a month of this, I shut down my profile and avoided the computer for months. After talking with friends about it, I agreed to try again. This time I made a profile with far less information. Far less. Results: the exact same.
I've now come to the conclusion that online dating isn't inherently evil or bad, it's just men in my area that are over 40.