Instead of online dating, could someone just email me a few inappropriate comments daily? It would save me time and energy.
Maybe it's my fault. I never did research into online dating. I talked to friends, and figured it was worth a try since I'm just not meeting anyone in my age group. Maybe I should've invested in a professional to assist me in writing a dating profile that attracts the "right" kind of guys. (Did you know that is a thing? People get paid to write dating profiles.) But what exactly does that mean? The right kind of guys? I didn't think I was that picky. I sat down with a pad of paper and listed the qualities that I was looking for in a potential partner. Then I promptly tore it up and cursed at myself for needing to make a shopping list of what I want. An hour later I sat down to make the list.
What I'm looking for. Hmmm. He must be employed. That's a given. Do I care what he does for a living? No, as long as it's not illegal and pays the bills. I'd rather meet a guy that isn't living paycheck to paycheck, and isn't deeply in debt. He cannot be a smoker (I have no issues with the occasional cigar), not a heavy drinker, and cannot have a gambling problem. Okay, I'm on a roll now! Do I care about height? Not really. I never thought about it. Do I care about weight? A little. I like a "dad bod" kind of physique, but a little more on either side of the spectrum isn't a deal breaker. Dude, I'm rocking this list. Okay, now hair. I just don't care. I prefer bald, but it's not my hair so who am I to judge? Facial hair? Sure. I like a beard, and a cool mustache, but again, not a deal breaker. He should dress well, but not GQ (I cannot afford to keep up with a GQ kind of guy). He should have interests, but do I really care what they are? A little. Would like to meet a guy that likes sports, some outdoor things (kayaking, hiking) and dancing once in a while. He can't be wanted by any police, CIA, or the FBI. Um... that's about it.
Now my turn. I need to tell all about me. I tried two different approaches. Why? Because the first attempt was a colossal failure, so I needed to rethink the entire thing and then tried again. First, I made a very long and detailed profile. I added the maximum amount of recent pictures of me. I spent time creating a profile that showed much about myself, likes and dislikes, and even tried to convey my personality. (As much as one can in a dating profile). I stressed I'm looking for a relationship kind of thing eventually, but want to date first. No hookups. I was raw, honest, funny, and open to meet in a public place immediately. This profile earned me more inappropriate responses than I thought humanly possible. You have no idea the amount of crazy I seem to attract. I did meet a few guys that seemed perfect on paper, but meeting them was an entirely different experience. Every single guy I met, or spoke to online, asked me for sex immediately. IMMEDIATELY. After a month of this, I shut down my profile and avoided the computer for months. After talking with friends about it, I agreed to try again. This time I made a profile with far less information. Far less. Results: the exact same.
I've now come to the conclusion that online dating isn't inherently evil or bad, it's just men in my area that are over 40.
Maybe it's my fault. I never did research into online dating. I talked to friends, and figured it was worth a try since I'm just not meeting anyone in my age group. Maybe I should've invested in a professional to assist me in writing a dating profile that attracts the "right" kind of guys. (Did you know that is a thing? People get paid to write dating profiles.) But what exactly does that mean? The right kind of guys? I didn't think I was that picky. I sat down with a pad of paper and listed the qualities that I was looking for in a potential partner. Then I promptly tore it up and cursed at myself for needing to make a shopping list of what I want. An hour later I sat down to make the list.
What I'm looking for. Hmmm. He must be employed. That's a given. Do I care what he does for a living? No, as long as it's not illegal and pays the bills. I'd rather meet a guy that isn't living paycheck to paycheck, and isn't deeply in debt. He cannot be a smoker (I have no issues with the occasional cigar), not a heavy drinker, and cannot have a gambling problem. Okay, I'm on a roll now! Do I care about height? Not really. I never thought about it. Do I care about weight? A little. I like a "dad bod" kind of physique, but a little more on either side of the spectrum isn't a deal breaker. Dude, I'm rocking this list. Okay, now hair. I just don't care. I prefer bald, but it's not my hair so who am I to judge? Facial hair? Sure. I like a beard, and a cool mustache, but again, not a deal breaker. He should dress well, but not GQ (I cannot afford to keep up with a GQ kind of guy). He should have interests, but do I really care what they are? A little. Would like to meet a guy that likes sports, some outdoor things (kayaking, hiking) and dancing once in a while. He can't be wanted by any police, CIA, or the FBI. Um... that's about it.
Now my turn. I need to tell all about me. I tried two different approaches. Why? Because the first attempt was a colossal failure, so I needed to rethink the entire thing and then tried again. First, I made a very long and detailed profile. I added the maximum amount of recent pictures of me. I spent time creating a profile that showed much about myself, likes and dislikes, and even tried to convey my personality. (As much as one can in a dating profile). I stressed I'm looking for a relationship kind of thing eventually, but want to date first. No hookups. I was raw, honest, funny, and open to meet in a public place immediately. This profile earned me more inappropriate responses than I thought humanly possible. You have no idea the amount of crazy I seem to attract. I did meet a few guys that seemed perfect on paper, but meeting them was an entirely different experience. Every single guy I met, or spoke to online, asked me for sex immediately. IMMEDIATELY. After a month of this, I shut down my profile and avoided the computer for months. After talking with friends about it, I agreed to try again. This time I made a profile with far less information. Far less. Results: the exact same.
I've now come to the conclusion that online dating isn't inherently evil or bad, it's just men in my area that are over 40.
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